six feet of muscle..
gripped by a single sheet of steel...
held in tight, just 2 inches..
restricted freedom...
a cross of chains..
steel over steel...
cold hard intersections..
2inches has friends...
one hundred of them with him...
the muscle ripped pulled...
but friends dont break off so easy..
they need to be pried cradled...
keyed...
each had its own key...
all but one...
ninety nine, recounted...
time, there was too much of it...
mocking him to pry each...
knowing one wont...
and what if the culprit was 2 inches...
too much time...
floating, prying, working...
what if with time..
friends departed...
but 2 inches, all alone...
cold harder...
weakening the muscle, mocking, teasing...
there was too much time...
gripped by a single sheet of steel...
held in tight, just 2 inches..
restricted freedom...
a cross of chains..
steel over steel...
cold hard intersections..
2inches has friends...
one hundred of them with him...
the muscle ripped pulled...
but friends dont break off so easy..
they need to be pried cradled...
keyed...
each had its own key...
all but one...
ninety nine, recounted...
time, there was too much of it...
mocking him to pry each...
knowing one wont...
and what if the culprit was 2 inches...
too much time...
floating, prying, working...
what if with time..
friends departed...
but 2 inches, all alone...
cold harder...
weakening the muscle, mocking, teasing...
there was too much time...
8 comments:
Its quite different!!! keep going! try different styles!! kinda hard to understand what it actually meant! guessing more off break free? :P
well this is like one of those painting some see a tree and some a man dying :P
i liked the format.. i havent seen you tryin this style much..!!
i kinda must hv by now read it 6-7 times.. everytime wit a different perseption hopin i m close to the writter's thot.. :P
bt naah.. i see is a person and his need of space in one level and maybe a struggle and guilt of losing something unavoidable..!!
now i need you view.. :P
What they said. I can't figure what the 2" and ssteel are. Seems we need more information.
http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/09/11/farmers-lament-2/
A little out of my depth here. Still pondering over your beautifully penned lines.
good one! my potluck.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2011/04/09/summer-wind/
well done keep going changing styles is wonderful and sometime surprising
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/08/27/the-island-breeze/
poetic and artistic, love the painting your words create.
I loved it and while I'm sure you probably had something else totally on your mind while you where writing this, I saw a person terribly conflicted; hurting, confused and needing his or her friends to be there for them, but at the same time needing some space. I know there have been times when I've needed my family or friends around to hold me up, but at the same time I've just wanted to be left alone to cry, and get it all out.
True friends, no matter how far away they may be, are always there for you and even if you've told them to leave you alone, sometimes speaking without thinking, they forgive you and just when you need them they're right there to hold your hands.
Like I said, I'm probably way off base here, but I'm amazed at how differently everyone will perceive a painting, or a poem like yours. Each a work of art in their own right. Wonderful!
Be blessed!
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