hey ppl...this introduction is simply to tell everyone that i am hardly a master in hindi
and i am absolutly not proud of that.....but yet i have tried my hand on this poem....n no i am not writing my story...in fact the whole credit of this poem goes 2 my net pal tushar mangal....i was so inspired by the pain in his poem that sumhow.....like a human bond i could relate 2 his pain...not coz i'v gone thru it...but just because i do have an idea how it feels....so thnx tush....i hope u will excuse the errors in the poem...and if i have misused ne word ne where(ie...not put the correct word due 2 misinterpretation of the meaning)...kindly point it out 2 me........thnks ppl
ek pal na baat karu aapse
toh intahaan lagti hai
yeh tanhaai yeh bebaspana
nasur lagti hai
zindagi ka maksad
kho jata hai
ek sapne ki tarah
uska har ek pal uska har ek lamha
yeh jo waqt beet gaya
mere saath us tanhaayi ko bhi le gaya
woh ek sahara us yaad ka
jo tum mujhse cheen na sake
sochti hun ki shayad
yeh ek daur hai
par aur kitna lamba
aur kitna intezaar
bahut bebas hun main abhi
yeh jaan kar tum
woh pyaari muskaan
na rok paaoge
haan le lo tum bhi
in aasuon ka mazaa
inme kya khali pan hai
yeh tum na jaan paoge
haste raho tum
yeh dua hai meri
to kya ki inki kimat
kuch ashko se hi puri hojaye
hasi to shayaad mujhe hi aa jati
agar yeh pal do pal hi hote
shyaad phir main sab bhul jaati
agar yeh pal do pal hi hote
zindagi jati dikhayi de rahi hai mujhko
par gam bas iska hai
ki ek karan tumhari muskaan ka
shayad kabhi ab waapis na aayega
6 comments:
...........very brave effort aashi
i know yu have really it must have taken more than a effort to write this.Also yu have written a very nice poem i liked it a lot
if i ahd to judge this poem
9 out of 10 i wuld give
.......keep it up aashi....and yes
stop being a firangi yu are and learn yur mother tounge well.
no tush...no effort...it just came out in a flow......n i am not being a firangi.....only i hv hardly written poems in hindi......so i was worried how it wud cum out........thts coz i hardly gave the poem ne thot....it just well happend...so pls dnt insult it by sayin tht i put n effort......hindi to mujhe aati hai...aur yeh tum jaante ho...bas itne saal baad maine aani matr bhasha main likhha hai...to hoda darr lag raha tha bas....but thnx newy...glad u liked the poem......
starting with the introduction ... i'm really confused by what she mentioned .. "i was so inspired by the pain in his poem that sumhow.....like a human bond i could relate 2 his pain...not coz i'v gone thru it...but just because i do have an idea how it feels.." ... i'm confused by the fact tat hw cn ne1 hve idea abt hw the pain feels if he/she hve never experienced it ... thz is nothing personal jat my views ok
nw coming to poem ... i think its nice bt it doesnt stand newhere near to her previous works ... becoz i dont think tat she is able to emote as well in hindi as she ws doin in english ... though some of the lines were touchin enuf ... bt i really think tat she is more capable than thz ... bt i dont want to discourage her ... so keep up the gud work aashi
i disgaree wit ronnie, u were lot better in hindi!well done!
nice use of words......
at times touching, but you can a lot of way in hindi lady... you got the way with it... just cultivate it... i mean, write more... u'll master this too!!
yeah..aashi...you are sooo good...jst reading ur poems....and it makes me feel so proud of you....you r jst 21 n its quite a achievement....n u know wat i like best abt u...u r very mischivieous yet soo soulful in ur poems.....they r excellent keep it goin....i feel proud to know u...n abv all dat u know me...
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