Wednesday, January 16, 2008

That angelic devil

as her dark lashes rest upon her cheeks aglow
as she smirks under that cute little tiny nose
as her lips part oh just so slightly
And touches her tongue, just for that special effect.

her fingers holds on to yours ever so slightly
yet you feel so helpless you cant let go
her tender touch makes you want to hug her
but you fear you'd crumble that delicate frame.

you look deep into her big bright eyes
magnetically holding on to you as if till eternity
for even when they close, the effect stays
your eyes cant leave her face and those lids do nothing to help you part

shes simply beautiful, so innocent, so pure
and yet you know, an evil grin may just be underneath
far away where no sane mind could reach
and try as we may, we cant fight this charm

we are but a bunch of helpless warriors
in love with this angelic devil
We think we are armed with our unwavering wit
but her form simply lures us without fail

oh this uncrowned queen knows just the right moves
a cry on her lips conjures one and all from places afar
but with a gurgle and with a coo and that elegent little sway
even he with a heart of stone shall have no opt but to sigh and stay




15 comments:

Prateek Shah said...

well well,

i've been having this conversation with Aashi for a few days now, about her new poem, and how she's not been feeling oh so fresh while writing it.. she said i've written the poem under the compulsion of writing one, and thats why she was somewhat scared as to how it wud turn out to be. Let me allay all ur fears, coz what u've written is.. simply amazing!

I am no baby lover, if u truly ask me , i somewhat hate them!(i know how we all have been babies and everything else, but i just cant seem to be patient enough to stand them!) .. ya i was saying..so for me to like this poem says a lot itself! U've written it extremely beautifully(no dis aint flattery, its genuine heart felt appreciation :) ) Simply loved how u've described the most intricate of a baby's tender movements, how u've brought out the emotions that a baby holds, and the best part was at the end,
"oh this uncrowned queen knows just the right moves
a cry on her lips conjures one and all from places afar
but with a gurgle and with a coo and that elegent little sway
even he with a heart of stone shall have no opt but to sigh and stay"

The Cry conjuring one and all :)
and even he with a heart of stone.. Brillianto!

Must read for people who dont oh so much like babies, and ones who do , wud simply fall for this one :)

Great work Gal, keep the melodies coming!

Prateek Shah

Razzmatazz said...

well
I might sound overcritical to some but Aaashi ou know I am a blunt person and no euphemism for the direct thoughts..
I actually am feeling the compulsion in the poem or I should say a prose ...
It sounds like the repitition of the thoughts.. at least I found it that way..
You must read the poem she wrote for her mom.. That was simply awesome..
you could actually feel the gleefulness.. Anyways I know aashi u r capable of writing alot better than this

Aditya said...

If This is how U write just for the sake of writing , how would a poem look when you actually mean it with all your heart !!
absolutely stunning!!

nisha said...

wonderful....nice post...

Sam said...

nice stuff, but then i think u lost ur way in teh end, that kind of killed the beauty of an otherwise nice poem... retouch it if you can!!

Asreen said...

the poem is a nice representation of babies...innocent face...wicked thoughts...u never know when they do what!!

well...nice poem...not a "masterpiece" but worth a read!! :-)

Asreen said...

i liked it...dun know what keats wud say!! :p

Tshhar Mangal said...

nicely written

Vikram said...

Hello Aashi...
well i had the a bit of an ease time at my wrk place and i happened to see ur first few blogs too...
well wat i noticed is u have really revolutionized ur writin skills and developed a gr8 sense of feel in ur writings...
juss wanted to say keep ur gr8 wrk on... hoping for many more things frm u in future...

Anand said...

chaachi![:p] though ur previous works were simply mind blowing i must say that this piece was better unwritten! forgive me for these words but hehehe cant help say it..:P
many words are repeated which actually takes away the beauty of a poem , and once i was xpecting anoder line after reading one stanza but alas dat stanza was over. anyways plz do rite like b4.. if u dont have fresh thoughts or inspiration then dont at all.. it aint compulsory huni!!

Wireless said...

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Tshhar Mangal said...

hey reviewed your blog
check it out ;-)

Aashi said...

hey prateek........... :) thanks a ton,....ur too sweet 2 b critical i guess..n yet thnks cos it made me feel btr abt this poem...

hola jojo....well ye ur right this was a forced poem... but i was gng thru a..in fct am still gng thru a mute phase..it is rthr frustrating.

although thts no excuse 2 write this badly.so ye sry abt this :)

lolzzz adi wadi **hugs** awww thnx...u alwys knw howta make me smile :)

hey nisha...thnkies 4 tht i hope u had let me get in2 ur pro 2....:)

@sam..hey namesake.will keep tht in mind :D

@asreen.............ROFLMAO!!!...well ur nuthign short of a kieth or a shelley 4 me........muah... thnx :)

@tush....thnx.....:) n ye thnx again 4 ur critical analysis...... :) this blog wudnt have been without u

@viks........hey wow now thts a surprise.thnx 4 commnting sweety... :) n i promise id work harder.once my brain starts functioning again :O

@mai......hmm ye ye i knw.....:P wel i'll keep in mind thou kity kat...but seriously its definatly frustrating 2b silent 4 sooo long

Hoppy said...

ok
i dun gree wid d forced skul of thot

may b cos babies r ma fav. form of human beings

damn i luv dem so much dat i dun think i m in a position qualified enuf to judge dis
bt i wud surely say dat u actually said out wat dey r all bout

"we are but a bunch of helpless warriors
in love with this angelic devil
We think we are armed with our unwavering wit
but her form simply lures us without fail
"
ma fav lines
cos i knw
i hav tried deciding to be firm wid ma neice nd restrict d numbr of d candies i giv her bt i cant resist her charm wen she fishes round d wrds for sm more
:P


hugs!

divya said...

suits perfectly to a baby..cute 1 yaar....keep it up..

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